


Let's Ask The Mirror

by ShyGoats



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Donut is mentioned, M/M, Profanity, RvB Fluff Week, Stuff happens, Swearing, XD, donut gave simmons relationship advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-18 02:48:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11282190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShyGoats/pseuds/ShyGoats
Summary: This is why you don't ask Donut for dating advice.





	Let's Ask The Mirror

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the prompt from foxtrot77777 on Tumblr, "Simmons practices asking Grif out in the mirror and gets caught (or not, up to you!". Thanks for the prompt!! :D

Simmons stabled himself on the counter, staring blankly into the sink. Calming his breathing, he lifted his gaze to stare at himself in the mirror.  
Unfortunately, Simmons found the blushing, freckled face that met him somewhat embarrassing. He swore to god, if he walked out there and he had this face plastered on, Grif would laugh so hard it might just drive Simmons into hiding. The thought made him flinch.  
Breathing in deeply, he gave his best attempt at a smooth smile (which ended up just being a crooked, geeky grin), and spoke.  
“So, Grif, uhhhhhhhh what's shaking?” Simmons shot finger guns at the mirror, only for his arms to fall back to his sides, realizing with horror how awkward he looked.  
He stared blankly at himself for a few more seconds before retrying. After all, Donut had said to keep trying.  
He redid the same trick twice before giving up and switching to a different plan. Everything had to be perfect – God knows what could happen if this went in the many terrible directions it could. It made Simmons wonder which would be the worst.  
Grif laughed. Thought he was being stupid. Granted, Simmons could wiggle his way out of this one with a chuckle, or a “I was just kidding, yeah,”. But it would still be humiliating.  
Worse, Grif could take him seriously. The grin dropping from his face, staring like Simmons had just told him he was going to die. But then he said yes, and it was cool. The scary thing was what would become of it.  
Worst case scenario, Grif took him seriously. Then said no. Just the thought made Simmons shudder, any confidence draining from him. Not only would Simmons have made a total fool of himself, but things would be weird. And if Simmons wanted to make sure something DIDN'T happen, it was that.  
He took a shuddery breath in, squeezing his eyes closed. He could do this. It just. It wasn't going to be easy.  
“Hey, Grif! Soooooo are you busy on, uh, say, Saturday? Which is fine if you are I was just asking and if you aren't then maybe we could, uh, hang out, or something??” he spat out, grinning awkwardly. So he needed to work on calming down. He could do that.  
He looked himself straight in the eyes, imagining that instead of a lanky cyborg, a short and chubby Hawaiian named Dexter was standing before him. In his mind's eye, he planted an expression of thoughtfulness on the man's face, as though he had focused his attention on Simmons for the time being.  
Simmons breathed out heavily, sorting words in his head.  
“So listen, Grif, this is gonna sound... Uh... Weird,” he started, honestly feeling a little bit like an idiot for talking to an imaginary Grif, “But I've been wanting to ask for a while now.”  
“I know for a fact that you are hardly ever busy, and you don't do work on weekends, so don't even think about giving me that bullshit excuse.” he continued, waving his human hand around as though to emphasize his words.  
“If you don't want to go, just give it to me straight, I'll- I'll get over it.” he bit his lip, mildly embarrassed at his stutter. And he knew he was lying, he might not get over it, but Grif wouldn't know that.  
“Do- Would you like to- Are you open to-” he tried, realizing that the actual question was harder to ask than he thought.  
“I'm waaiiiiitttiiinnnngggg.” the imaginary Grif “said”, rolling his eyes.  
Considerably more flustered than before, Simmons raised a hand as though he was shushing his imaginary companion.  
“Would you be open to doing something on Saturday? Like – I don't know, there aren't really any place to go in this canyon but like we could go sit on the cliff or something, or maybe there's something on television-”  
“Sure.”  
“... Wait really?” Simmons blinked his eyes open, finding that the imaginary Grif had disappeared from his mind.  
“Yeah, why not. It'll be fun.”  
It was at this point that Simmons realized that the person talking was definitely NOT inside his head. He snapped his attention to the doorway leading out. Leaning on the threshold was none other than the same Hawaiian that Simmons had been practicing asking out. Dexter Grif.  
Immediately, Simmons leaped to the defense.  
“What the FUCK are you doing here???” he nearly screamed, eyes wide and frantic.  
Grif shrugged, smirking cockily.  
“Heard you talking to yourself – figured that you were just being a nerd again – and then I heard my name and got curious.” he answered, like it was no big deal. Not that it was. It definitely was not a big deal.  
“First of all, this is NOT a 'nerd thing', it's a common practice!” Simmons bellowed, face heating up in embarrassment.  
“Uhhhh huh. Donut told you that didn't he.” Grif chortled in response.  
“What? What no- I don't know what you're implying- I would never-” Simmons began to throw his hands about in an erratic manner, frustrated to no end.  
“Whatever, dork,” Grif cut him short, shuffled forward and pecking Simmons' cheek (effectively shutting him up), “I'll see you later.”  
Simmons stared forward for a few minutes, barely noticing when Grif warned him, “not to play chicken”.  
After a minute, he finally fell out of his trance, blinking and looking at himself in the mirror.

“Okay,”  
“What the fuck just happened.”


End file.
